Sunday, January 17, 2016


The love in my heart for each of my kids is equal. They all have such a special place there. When baby Aiden came I don't know how we got along with out him. He has truly completed our family. I can't seem to stop holding him.

I was fully planning on having to be induced again. However at 40 weeks to the day I started having contractions. I brushed them off as Braxton hicks. By 10pm I started to hurt so I took a hot shower then walked around assuming they would pass. Then took a warm bath and laid and watched gossip girl for a while. By that time I told Jayson I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to the hospital to be sent home. The kids were in bed and I was unsure if this was for real. Finally Jayson said we had to go in to check things out. We called a sweet friend who came to stay with the kids. We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 or 1:00 am I can't really remember. We actually went to the wrong entrance  and were locked out. Some random guy walks out a side door and sees me and Jayson (by this time I could only walk when I wasn't having a contraction and when I was I was on all fours in the parking lot) he sees us, doesn't say a thing and runs back inside. A moment later he is running out with a wheelchair and unlocks all the doors for us and personally pushes me to the ER. Once he knew we were in good hands he said good luck and went on his way. I will forever be grateful for that man and what he did for us that night. 

It took what seems like an hour for them to book me. I sit in the waiting room moaning infront of random people. Then a sweet nurse walks out and take us to OB. They get me in a gown and laid down. Soon another nurse comes to check where I am progressed to. She checks, raised her eyebrow and says let me go get another nurse. She leaves and it's just Jayson and I in the room. I look over at him and tell him if I'm not dilated I was  going to shoot myself in the foot. I sit there scared I'm just being dramatic and they are going to send me home. A new nurse comes in to check me and says "yup, your an 8. Let's do this." After that things happened very fast. Nurses were coming in and out getting me hooked up to IVs and because I'm high risk they ended up having four in me. Two in the hands and two in my forearm. -worst part of the whole experience- I was luckily able to get an epidural although it only worked on one side for the first bit and I was that girl. You know the one in the movies yelling at her husband during a contraction then telling him sorry and how much she loves him when off a contraction. Poor Jayson didn't know what to think but he was right there holding my hand in and out of it all. Once they were able to get the epidural to spread to my opposite side I immediately fell asleep. They woke me up later and said we should try pushing. After two practice pushes I was told to stop because he was crowning. The doctor came in and Aiden was out just after. It was honestly the most amazing experience. I keep joking to Jayson that I would love to relive it. This was the first I had ever went into labor on my own and also not had major complications following. 

Jayson called mom when we arrived at the hospital and were told baby was coming that night. She showed up just after we were wheeled into recovery. She drove an hour to the airport, booked a new flight, flew two hours, rented a car and drove thirty minutes from the airport to the hospital. She is the most amazing woman and mother who would do anything for me and my family. Including not sleep for two days to be able to help me. Later Jayson went and got the kids and they adored baby Aiden from first sight. I just wanted to hold them all at once and remember that feeling for the rest of my life. I kept looking at Jayson and thinking, we did this. We made tiny, beautiful, sweet, perfect humans. My love for him grew even bigger that day. 

Dad flew in a few days later and they both spent Thanksgiving with us. It was simply perfect. 

Pregnant with sweet baby Aiden

I would love to say this pregnancy was wonderful and beautiful and although a lot of days were, most days were very painful. I had Braxton hicks most of the second and third trimester and everything seemed to hurt from pretty early on. Sitting, standing, walking, sleeping. It all hurt. No matter how much pain I was in I still enjoyed the little things. Feeling him move, his hiccups, thinking about what he was going to look like and daydream about holding and kissing him, reading him stories. The love I had for him in my belly was strong and I couldn't wait to meet him. 

The third trimester was filled with much anxiety on delivery. Ty and Embers birth was hard on us all. Very long extended stays in the hospital, much blood loss, blood transfusions....there was so much fear that history would repeat itself. I had to work hard at relaxing and keeping calm. His birth came and well that's a story for another post ❤️